Funny thing called Love.

Here's a funny thing called love,

that bolsters me up and banishes me down.

For which involves an angel so beautiful,

that delves within so ethereal...

Pass a fleeting moment of happiness,

in reverie, your beauty and grace.

Even from a simplest connection,

blesses days with a brighter face.

Fleeting, I must emphasise,

for there's so much between that's not realised.

Sheer joy at the slightest news of you,

to know it's happy times you're through.

But within, oh angel, so ethereal,

the bridge is broken, albeit bounds to tell...

Emasculated, at mere sight,

his heart desires to reach, feel light.

But all that happens - the heart in gut,

he proceeds nowhere, just stuck in rut.

There's much of a barrier in between,

regardless how much soul he means.

Acquiesce he must, to keep things clear,

before oh ethereal angel, disappear.

Acknowledges upon all is just his doing,

his view, his feelings, in the brewing.

Shameless to SAY, unrestful qualms,

of what the angel beholds within.

In thought of the greatest beauty,

in his mind, oh angel put in place.

but the heart'd long, in an endless race.

For all these times, these thoughts surface.

He dunks em' away, away from face.

But within him, a longing so strong,

of what fate may bring, fate may bring.....

Merry Christmas everybody! <3

Been long time coming..

Hello everyone, i'm still alive (:

Oh boy, there's so many thing i'd wanna SAY all this while but never really mustered the motivation and energy to log in here to post stuff. So for a long time now, here's smth.

Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2009

This year's run was really wonderful, there was hardly a hint of sun for the whole race rendering my sunglasses totally useless. 4hrs45mins. Quite a reasonable timing given how little time i invested in training for it hmmmmf. Could use a better race plan next time though. At the 30km mark, it was only 3hrs02mins! 10km/hour pace, pretty fine (: But my muscles totally stiffened up on me for the remaining 12km and it took an hour forty five for the last 12km :P

Humans weren't made to fly. They RUN

死都不要停. 

Not sure what was wrong with me but i just didn want to stop at all. Used the technique my biathlon coach taught me, hips forth to displace body weight forward so there's a natural forward push on every step. It works pretty well! To the extent that i can feel my abs and hips straining after the marathon too. Ask me to show you when you see me (:

A man truly understand himself only through running- where he transcends oneself.

However, this year's run wasn as fun as last year without Jack around. There were moments i just pictured him running along with me pushing each other on! (haha, jack if you're reading this, you'd better run next time) Was really heartening to see people along the run, thanks to Rish for the powergels! Thanks to Clarisse for letting me join the baggage queue (: Saw Jernan, who was going at a imba fast pace at the start, and she did an imba 5hr45min. GODLIKE! 

Saw tiffany when passing by the cable ski, around 23km mark i guess, and it was so encouraging! Felt like seeing some family member, SA CANOEING family member <3

Pain. Pain is only a feeling. You do not succumb, you overcome!

Most of all, it wasn the timing, the run or the people that makes SCSM most most most memorable to me. During the run, I looked back at this year of 2009, thinking how much things have changed all this while. From teaching, canoe coaching to falling into the doldrums of fitness, this year has been massive and hard to put in words... 

As I kept putting my leg forward on every stride, I wanted to prove to myself, that no matter the circumstance, that no matter how hard sickness had hit me, my mind was bigger than my body. 

As I kept up the momentum with every step, I looked back to see how much i've changed and immediately felt that there's so many things I've been neglecting this year due to the hectic NS. Upon enlisting, i had so much less emotional capacity to handle relationships and to friends i haven't spoken to in a long while, i'm so sorry i've MIA-ed! Catch up soon? In view of which, I realised i've became so much less extroverted.  During the tough period of 9 months upon enlisting, I only had a close circle of friends and to this group of people who know who you are, i can't appreciate you more than anything else (: I realised i've became less sympathetic than before, and could only afford to care for immediate things around me. Having realised this for sometime now, I saw how much I haven't been able to do my part for society, for others out there who need help. Such neglect for other things around me hit me really really really hard during the run. While on the run, something happened which made my tears swell instantly. A man was pushing his wife on a wheelchair for the whole 42.195km. People clapped as they went by. On the second time i saw them, the lady on the wheelchair was wheeling herself forward as her husband followed behind, wearing a face of undying will and determination... Seeing this pair made me ask myself once again,

what's a life worth living if it isn't for others...

ps. the finisher shirts! this year's one is not that bad yeaa. It's not too ugly to not wear it out. Hahaa

p.p.s link to last year's marathon experience! http://gutsngumption.blogspot.com/2008/12/42195.html

I can only

when all i can do is to ask how you're doing,

when all that that the heart wants to reach gets blocked,

when all that i'd wish you is left unspoken,

when all that i'd get is a simple okay.

i'll be right here waiting, wishing for someday. 

Deep Embrace

Hello. I'm still alive.

Hahaa just my way of starting a post everytime I come back here to write some stuffs again. Oh boy, it's been 6 weeks into NS, going to be the 7th now.

NDU.

Tough but manageable. Draining but enriching. Period.

Hmmmmf, 2 years of NS is a long time. Many times when I wake up at night, whether in camp or at home, I'd get this sudden outburst of self-conscience:

"WOA WHERE AM I? WHO AM I NOW? I am a Naval Diver, an elite soldier."

Then i get back to sleep again, waking up the next day to live each day to my best.

I've yet to accept this new lifestyle wholeheartedly, but no matter what, these 2 years deserve best effort. Neither would I compromise myself on any learning, nor would I have any expectations from anything or anyone, but myself.

"Leadership is not position, but action"

Hold sway

Cooooool.

In a nutshell, i've been pretty much passing time meaningfully, doing things I love, backed with fulfilling and gratifying incentives for both myself and others.

Joshua Cheng asked me what i was up to, and very simply in a sentence, i replied "Coaching, teaching and appreciating life."

HAHA oh boy. 

Right, so time has cometh. Results are set to release next friday. Hoho.

All the hype of studying for so many years just to take the A level exams come right down to the result slip. The more number of As, the better your uni course, the brighter your prospects. (not a direct correlation though) 

No one can really deny the magnitude of such an event, which somehow or rather opens up pathways for us to take in time to come. I was thinking whether my life would change upon result release, or whether its effect would change my ideals in anyway. It's possible to see the result slip as the ticket to success for future. (and without a doubt, that's pretty darn true, in hothouse singapore, where gleamy-eyed students desire for academic excellence)

Not only was i thinking, but importantly, there was the element of excitement, fear and hype.

Night before GP paper. Hahaa

Before econs. OK don't read too much into the coffee can. I was perfectly sane. Just bored. Heh

Last 2 papers

Hmmmf, well, after awhile some things started to come to mind. First of all, in the most basic and practical sense, regardless of how much anyone could worry, what's done was done and no matter how anyone feels for the results, the grades are not going to change a single bit. So why not welcome it with open arms and accept what's given?

At the very least, I believed i tried my very best under the circumstances at those moments back then, from preparation up till the exams. No regrets, no regrets.

Secondly, to paint life in larger strokes and see the BIG BIG picture, what do A level results really mean to life?

Hmmm. Put it this way, if everything i've ever lived for in the past years is going to be affected by that single RESULT SLIP, an indication of academic performance, then it'd mean there isn much value for all other beautiful things in life i ought to appreciate, so to speak.

As much as the result slip may bear my name and show my grades, how much does it show who I really am?

If any one person is just defined by the number of "A"s he get, i'd dare say we've not understood him.

If any one person is only bothered about the number of "A"s he get and treats it as a life and death judgement, i'd dare say he's been living in vain.

People who aspire for straight As can break down and cry when they only get 2 or 3. They might feel like all is lost and everything that they have lived for (errm, which is studies?), all the effort, feeling, hardwork and sweat, has not paid off.  Just like how students under hothouses in China and India break down and jump off buildings or hang themselves when they fail to meet their expectations.

This only shows how much they have founded their life on academic achievements. 

Other than whatever the dreadful education system 'indoctrinates' in them, what do they believe in?

Well, i sure do stand for my beliefs. And it sure is comforting to know that the result slip wont reflect who i really am to any considerably large extent.

ps. right i've been stuck with a post for super long, i'd put it up soon

Suitability

There I was, staring into the computer screen at a total loss, not a single word typed onto that essay, not a single drip of inspiration.

A 300-word-at-least essay on why you should be given the PSC provisional scholarship. 

After 10 minutes, I gave up. No doubt i was looking for a scholarship and was quite happy to be nominated for the PSC... beneath it all i doubt i wanted to work for the Government. Errhmm, it's not about the notion of serving for the government, cause ultimately you're serving the people (which is a fact that you can find much motivation from). I guess it's just that the idea of being posted to a statutory board or ministry is a slight turn-off. Though i wouldn mind a career at ministry of community, youth and sports. (YEA! I guess it'd be a good position to effect change and make a difference) I heard from Dion (Pre-U Sem one) that they'd put you wherever they want, not based on your choice. She's doing a PhD in health sciences, but they thought of putting her in policy-making. Oh well.

OK back to point, I think the freedom of being able to choose one's job or career is a cornerstone to living your life to the fullest. Scholarships do make people serve bonds, yes, but glancing back at when that scholar signed that agreement, was he even sure that he wanted that as a career?

At this point in time, right after 'A's, truthfully, i speculate that almost 60 or 70% of the people miserably waiting for their results are still not really sure of what they'd want to pursue as a career. If this is so, what more sign a scholarship? It could very well be likened to serving as a highly-paid slave, if all that the scholar does is count down to the time his bond ends, when he'd be free to leave. 

But then again, those who take up scholarships have scintillating A level result slips and that only makes up less than 10% of the cohort. Of which, there should be more students that know what they want yea. 

After all, even if theyre not really certain of what may come in their years with the place they sign up the scholarship at, in time to come, impressionable minds may coalesce with loyalty, influence, and whatever attached feelings for the company/group, resulting in that brainiac dutifully committed to whatever company, yeaa. 

Besides all the pride and ego that it may bestow, Uni certs only bring us our first job. After which, all that matter is the resume. And even more importantly, the personality, i guess.

Hmm, i know what i want. Yeap. 

Like a flower, it roots from self-believe, stems up to self-confidence and blooms in passion. 

We can't grow a sunflower in the tropics, or the bougain villea in the snow. 

eNTJ?

Hello everybody. I'm still alive.

but..

Haaha okay my blog's been dead. 

Even though every personality test that I've ever done says i'm an extrovert, I have lotsa qualms about all those assumption-ridden tests. That particular ENTJ test even told me i'd be an executive. Yea rigght, my wishes. Hmmmm

But i guess i'm very much an introvert sometimes too. 

Well you can see, my blog posts aren't much about my thoughts, but more about the more-interesting things that I do. 

Matin told me, "You should post more on what you think, let the whole world know more about the mysterious eugene."

Hmmm oh well. Do I give people the impression that there' s so much more to me and you're not gonna know them? Hah ponder ponder............... crap, i think so. Must be some heart VS. head issue again. 

Yea frankly i must say, sometimes (or many times, oops) i tend to keep thoughts to myself. Well, i think it's thanks to this silence in opinion that allows me to have neutrality and sanctity in perception, which is of course, a good thing. Keeping thoughts to myself doesn mean im not opinionated, but i'd rather hear yours than speak mine yea.

But then again, that's maybe why I can't argue extremely well in GP essays. HAHA

OK been to genting with Jack Chenyang Qian Jernan and Clarisse! Was quite okaay, but weather was extremely good. Nice and cool like Perth, but with more cigarette smoke and exhaust fumes errrgh. 

We were super lucky in the trip. REALLY lucky. Post more about it soon (:

5.5 more weeks to enlistment. OH well, i must have no regrets and up till now, i haven't had any. 

As Jason Mraz sings, 

"Live high, live mighty, live righteously. 

Take it easy, live high"