[[ Guts and Gumption; Grit and Grime ]]

ord

2011-01-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

ORD LO

I can still remember vividly the first day of enlistment, of stepping into NDU, of having to shave for the first time in my life, or the culture shocks and the adaptations to life in the military. Freedom beckons and we’ll finish our 2 years of service real soon, stepping out of NDU, never less than who we were 2 years before…

ORD brings a whole gamut of emotions. As liberating as it can be, it is in many ways overrated. As beautiful an end it may seem to be, it is unquestionably a very emotional one… When follow batch boys used to go on about how they’re looking forward to ORD because of the freedom that it brings, I seem to fail in empathising with them completely. ORD is overrated in that, upon leaving service, there may be a momentary happiness and freedom that bolsters us NSmen. However, the excitement dies down a week later as many will lose sight of their purpose and motivation, eventually wasting their time away… It is a human need to subject oneself to a meaning and fulfill it. I do hope my fellow brothers will discover new purposes and directions real quick, and get on with a new chapter of their lives (: ORD is overrated due to the sadness that it brings, of having to part with everyone and everything that we have grown so fond of in the past 2 years… I’ll definitely miss my batch boys so much and wished I savoured every moment and treasured the times that we had together more. On grounds that university lies ahead and we’re being ejected into the real world so abruptly, I was apprehended with uncertainty and insecurity too.. it’s in every tinge of hope that I’d muster enough fortitude to take on all that’s ahead valiantly. (which also reminds me how I should help fellow regular bros when they leave service, because it would probably hit them doubly or triply hard…)
After all every dog has its day, ours is here…

National Service is but a dream to many… mere tourists in the waking world, prancing around surreal dimensions with hearts unfounded… and waking up is all that matters… ORD lo.

Looking back to these 2 years, all who knew me well enough would know that unpleasant things have happened in this time. But for all that’s been through, I would confidently say that there isn’t any other NS experience that could have been anymore interesting than what I’ve personally been through (:
I would proudly say that National Service would be best characterized by the pitfalls I’ve fallen into, for it’s these falls that put me through the worst trials and tribulations and kept me moving forward, many times climbing out of the shitholes to become a better person than ever, many times falling back in to get used to being one with the shit.

Till this day, though my contributions to the unit may seem to be considerable, I always look back and regret thinking that I could have done so much more…
Yet at the same time, in the heart of indifference and ephemeral existence of an NSF, I feel satisfied for what I’ve contributed, which are in most ways out of the norm where responsibilities are concerned…

I will always regret for being denied a formal leadership position to effect change and make things happen. I regret that these visions of mine for the unit lay dormant in me and that they will never be realized. I regret for things which I see could have been done better but are not achieved. But.., who am I to say… when in most circumstance things are not in my position to control… No doubt such regrets were brought forth from my sheer idealism, these visions left unearthed only turn to soil…

Funny as I say it, one major lesson I learnt from National Service is to be normal. Mediocre in approach and mediocre in the way to live life. While being brim-full with motivation to conquer all odds as a former athlete, it was only after taking great falls did i compromise and come to terms with normalcy. Unending motivation and determination used to put me dwelling amongst the limits, constantly breaking these barriers to progress. Reluctance to be just ‘another ordinary person’ spurred me to ceaselessly give my best effort. But residing amongst these coveted positions and bearing such lofty mentality made it easier to fall into the doldrums below… and falling from higher grounds surely made it more painful…
I came to realize how being ‘normal’, as simple and straightforward as it is, should be just the way how life unfolds… where we take on life in a collected composure, ready to step up the pedal to reach for something, yet ready to brake in time to prevent a crash.

Being at the bottom of the organization, yet working closely with the higher-management in many projects allowed me to observe leadership in it’s full swing. A full swing of the golf club to the balls.
Though, I’m merely a men, I’m thankful for being one, in that it allowed me to analyse deeply the leadership styles of different people. Being a leader on many occasions yet failing to be one for reasons uncontrollable, though seen as a fall from grace, sharpened my leadership skills in many special ways I never expected. I saw through the delicate human dynamics that moved people- that which allowed them to converse effectively, and achieve great things, as much as the ugly interpersonal flops that made meetings bust, hammers drop and endless tirades… I learnt to bear with atrocities of ill human habits, and figured out approaches to deal with these people in the best way. I gained a better eye of perceiving personalities and bringing out the best in people. I saw the subtleties that made people ticked or flicked...These insights will serve me well for sure; as valuable lessons that won't be acquired easily anywhere else.
In respect of the organization and its management, I’d remind myself this is an reflection, not a whine. For as much as there are issues that we could mull and sigh about... let me once again trudge forth in the heart of indifference and the ephemeral existence of an NSF..... (:

Through times of disappointment with people above and being fraught with the longing of how things could turn out to be better, I learnt that ranks and designations are in many occasions, a mere indication of an individual's standing in the organization. As much as it demands respect, a rank or designation does not speak completely of his contribution, beliefs and values..... aspects which would genuinely flash through a person's genuine character. At end, it is not the rank of an individual, but how much 'heart' he has in what he does and how strong he believes in things. For what he wears on his shoulders, does not represent his ability…

As a batch, we learnt that accomplishing goals and overcoming tasks are mostly about putting our wholesome 'heart' to it. We learnt through the hardest and most painful ways, of having to meet the highest expectations. Countless stand-by-beds that were never done to standard before, and diving standards that required nothing less than the best effort from everyone, only taught us to always keep 'heart' no matter how tough the circumstances were, and ceaselessly commit our complete heart and soul at all times, at all costs...
Valuing this notion of investing our heart in order to achieve, as simple and straightforward as it is, I realized how readily this applies to so many aspects of life, and puts many ideals into perspective. When we are lazy, lack will or incapable of doing something, it's often the case of how close we hold the issue to heart and act affirmatively, and not the myriad of other excuses that we could give ourselves to simply dismiss something as difficult and impossible.

For all the lessons and experiences that NS brings, the one incomparable and irreplaceable thing I will treasure most will be the bonds with fellow Divers. Though coming together from different walks of life, it is unimaginable how closely drawn together we have become. These are the brothers that have went through the toughest ordeals we’ve ever had in our lives; suffered together in agony, cried together in pain, cheered together in victory and bask together in glory. These are the brothers who have never failed to be there for us through all times happy or sad. There were never occasions we would hesitate to share our sorrows or happiness with each other, from celebrating someone passing his TP to wallowing together for someone’s break-up. No one was ever too far, just a door or two away... It was this bunch of assholes that make NS so much more bearable… (‘: Even as we leave for separate paths, there will undeniably be a special place in our hearts, an identity we can all be proud of and the security that there are a Brothers out there who care…

Operationally Ready… Truth be told, I would still worry about this, as much as I have always been throughout the past 2 years. In my pursue of meaning to serve National Service, ideas and motivations that ground our hearts to the job never fail to be elusive. Mere tourists in the waking world I’d say…. The grapple with meaning and purpose led me to being involved heavily in National Education, for our Divers to develop a staunch meaning to their service to the nation. However, ambitious as I am, no doubt the efforts I put in, the devils inside me held me back too, to conform to mediocre mentality, the’herd’. It’s hard to imagine how Singapore would be ready for war if all NSmen were activated today for war… It is further perturbing when NSmen are believed to be ‘operationally ready’ and serve the Nation with great honour, when national identity is undergoing a shift from believing in our nation, to accepting Singapore as it is today, with only 60% ‘native’ Singaporeans. May this be last time I worry about this, that when I lodge the last period to this reflection, my thoughts be sealed, for such ambitious thoughts of mine, of truly serving the Nation for defending our home would only be valuable for myself to think about and act on.
But with these thoughts aside, and valuing all the wondrous things I’ve had in the past 2 years… myopic or superficial, it may be….
ORD LO

the Unsettling Conscience

2010-09-05T09:02:00.001-07:00

ahhh this unsettling conscience,
for which lingers in my head.
unknown to be sickness that rips it at the edges,
or an underlying leech that puzzles it all.

for all he knows he needs some changes,
to get through this heap of massive nothingness.
tough the circumstance could really be,
what is apparent, perceived differently.
still unsure of all that's happening,
this nothingness has taken a toll on bearing.

fortunate to say this aint that bad,
through all this shit he's not feeling sad.
and hope that it's positivity,
not the fiend that creeps- uncertainty.

but his smile aint genuine regardless how mere.
it's not the normal, there's something here,
that's pulling me around, between these ears.
this unsettling conscience, i shouldn't fear,
in the mental game, no rules adhere.

at it's edges may the mind be chipped,
or even to implode right from within.
for one thing no matter, he just knows.
a comeback is yet to be unfold.

may it rip or tear apart,
implode within and crumble out.
but sure he knows if there's the HEART,
real soon he'd scoot off from the clout.

Funny thing called Love.

2009-12-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

Here's a funny thing called love,

that bolsters me up and banishes me down.

For which involves an angel so beautiful,

that delves within so ethereal...

Pass a fleeting moment of happiness,

in reverie, your beauty and grace.

Even from a simplest connection,

blesses days with a brighter face.

Fleeting, I must emphasise,

for there's so much between that's not realised.

Sheer joy at the slightest news of you,

to know it's happy times you're through.

But within, oh angel, so ethereal,

the bridge is broken, albeit bounds to tell...

Emasculated, at mere sight,

his heart desires to reach, feel light.

But all that happens - the heart in gut,

he proceeds nowhere, just stuck in rut.

There's much of a barrier in between,

regardless how much soul he means.

Acquiesce he must, to keep things clear,

before oh ethereal angel, disappear.

Acknowledges upon all is just his doing,

his view, his feelings, in the brewing.

Shameless to SAY, unrestful qualms,

of what the angel beholds within.

In thought of the greatest beauty,

in his mind, oh angel put in place.

but the heart'd long, in an endless race.

For all these times, these thoughts surface.

He dunks em' away, away from face.

But within him, a longing so strong,

of what fate may bring, fate may bring.....

Merry Christmas everybody! <3

Been long time coming..

2009-12-06T03:07:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone, i'm still alive (:

Oh boy, there's so many thing i'd wanna SAY all this while but never really mustered the motivation and energy to log in here to post stuff. So for a long time now, here's smth.

Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2009

This year's run was really wonderful, there was hardly a hint of sun for the whole race rendering my sunglasses totally useless. 4hrs45mins. Quite a reasonable timing given how little time i invested in training for it hmmmmf. Could use a better race plan next time though. At the 30km mark, it was only 3hrs02mins! 10km/hour pace, pretty fine (: But my muscles totally stiffened up on me for the remaining 12km and it took an hour forty five for the last 12km :P

Humans weren't made to fly. They RUN

死都不要停.

Not sure what was wrong with me but i just didn want to stop at all. Used the technique my biathlon coach taught me, hips forth to displace body weight forward so there's a natural forward push on every step. It works pretty well! To the extent that i can feel my abs and hips straining after the marathon too. Ask me to show you when you see me (:

A man truly understand himself only through running- where he transcends oneself.

However, this year's run wasn as fun as last year without Jack around. There were moments i just pictured him running along with me pushing each other on! (haha, jack if you're reading this, you'd better run next time) Was really heartening to see people along the run, thanks to Rish for the powergels! Thanks to Clarisse for letting me join the baggage queue (: Saw Jernan, who was going at a imba fast pace at the start, and she did an imba 5hr45min. GODLIKE!

Saw tiffany when passing by the cable ski, around 23km mark i guess, and it was so encouraging! Felt like seeing some family member, SA CANOEING family member <3

Pain. Pain is only a feeling. You do not succumb, you overcome!

Most of all, it wasn the timing, the run or the people that makes SCSM most most most memorable to me. During the run, I looked back at this year of 2009, thinking how much things have changed all this while. From teaching, canoe coaching to falling into the doldrums of fitness, this year has been massive and hard to put in words...

As I kept putting my leg forward on every stride, I wanted to prove to myself, that no matter the circumstance, that no matter how hard sickness had hit me, my mind was bigger than my body.

As I kept up the momentum with every step, I looked back to see how much i've changed and immediately felt that there's so many things I've been neglecting this year due to the hectic NS. Upon enlisting, i had so much less emotional capacity to handle relationships and to friends i haven't spoken to in a long while, i'm so sorry i've MIA-ed! Catch up soon? In view of which, I realised i've became so much less extroverted. During the tough period of 9 months upon enlisting, I only had a close circle of friends and to this group of people who know who you are, i can't appreciate you more than anything else (: I realised i've became less sympathetic than before, and could only afford to care for immediate things around me. Having realised this for sometime now, I saw how much I haven't been able to do my part for society, for others out there who need help. Such neglect for other things around me hit me really really really hard during the run. While on the run, something happened which made my tears swell instantly. A man was pushing his wife on a wheelchair for the whole 42.195km. People clapped as they went by. On the second time i saw them, the lady on the wheelchair was wheeling herself forward as her husband followed behind, wearing a face of undying will and determination... Seeing this pair made me ask myself once again,

what's a life worth living if it isn't for others...

ps. the finisher shirts! this year's one is not that bad yeaa. It's not too ugly to not wear it out. Hahaa

p.p.s link to last year's marathon experience! http://gutsngumption.blogspot.com/2008/12/42195.html

I can only

2009-06-06T22:18:00.001-07:00

when all i can do is to ask how you're doing,

when all that that the heart wants to reach gets blocked,

when all that i'd wish you is left unspoken,

when all that i'd get is a simple okay.

i'll be right here waiting, wishing for someday.

Deep Embrace

2009-04-26T04:12:00.000-07:00

Hello. I'm still alive.

Hahaa just my way of starting a post everytime I come back here to write some stuffs again. Oh boy, it's been 6 weeks into NS, going to be the 7th now.

NDU.

Tough but manageable. Draining but enriching. Period.

Hmmmmf, 2 years of NS is a long time. Many times when I wake up at night, whether in camp or at home, I'd get this sudden outburst of self-conscience:

"WOA WHERE AM I? WHO AM I NOW? I am a Naval Diver, an elite soldier."

Then i get back to sleep again, waking up the next day to live each day to my best.

I've yet to accept this new lifestyle wholeheartedly, but no matter what, these 2 years deserve best effort. Neither would I compromise myself on any learning, nor would I have any expectations from anything or anyone, but myself.

"Leadership is not position, but action"

Hold sway

2009-03-01T07:23:00.000-08:00

Cooooool.

In a nutshell, i've been pretty much passing time meaningfully, doing things I love, backed with fulfilling and gratifying incentives for both myself and others.

Joshua Cheng asked me what i was up to, and very simply in a sentence, i replied "Coaching, teaching and appreciating life."

HAHA oh boy.

Right, so time has cometh. Results are set to release next friday. Hoho.

All the hype of studying for so many years just to take the A level exams come right down to the result slip. The more number of As, the better your uni course, the brighter your prospects. (not a direct correlation though)

No one can really deny the magnitude of such an event, which somehow or rather opens up pathways for us to take in time to come. I was thinking whether my life would change upon result release, or whether its effect would change my ideals in anyway. It's possible to see the result slip as the ticket to success for future. (and without a doubt, that's pretty darn true, in hothouse singapore, where gleamy-eyed students desire for academic excellence)

Not only was i thinking, but importantly, there was the element of excitement, fear and hype.

Night before GP paper. Hahaa

Before econs. OK don't read too much into the coffee can. I was perfectly sane. Just bored. Heh

Last 2 papers

Hmmmf, well, after awhile some things started to come to mind. First of all, in the most basic and practical sense, regardless of how much anyone could worry, what's done was done and no matter how anyone feels for the results, the grades are not going to change a single bit. So why not welcome it with open arms and accept what's given?

At the very least, I believed i tried my very best under the circumstances at those moments back then, from preparation up till the exams. No regrets, no regrets.

Secondly, to paint life in larger strokes and see the BIG BIG picture, what do A level results really mean to life?

Hmmm. Put it this way, if everything i've ever lived for in the past years is going to be affected by that single RESULT SLIP, an indication of academic performance, then it'd mean there isn much value for all other beautiful things in life i ought to appreciate, so to speak.

As much as the result slip may bear my name and show my grades, how much does it show who I really am?

If any one person is just defined by the number of "A"s he get, i'd dare say we've not understood him.

If any one person is only bothered about the number of "A"s he get and treats it as a life and death judgement, i'd dare say he's been living in vain.

People who aspire for straight As can break down and cry when they only get 2 or 3. They might feel like all is lost and everything that they have lived for (errm, which is studies?), all the effort, feeling, hardwork and sweat, has not paid off. Just like how students under hothouses in China and India break down and jump off buildings or hang themselves when they fail to meet their expectations.

This only shows how much they have founded their life on academic achievements.

Other than whatever the dreadful education system 'indoctrinates' in them, what do they believe in?

Well, i sure do stand for my beliefs. And it sure is comforting to know that the result slip wont reflect who i really am to any considerably large extent.

ps. right i've been stuck with a post for super long, i'd put it up soon

Suitability

2009-02-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

There I was, staring into the computer screen at a total loss, not a single word typed onto that essay, not a single drip of inspiration.

A 300-word-at-least essay on why you should be given the PSC provisional scholarship.

After 10 minutes, I gave up. No doubt i was looking for a scholarship and was quite happy to be nominated for the PSC... beneath it all i doubt i wanted to work for the Government. Errhmm, it's not about the notion of serving for the government, cause ultimately you're serving the people (which is a fact that you can find much motivation from). I guess it's just that the idea of being posted to a statutory board or ministry is a slight turn-off. Though i wouldn mind a career at ministry of community, youth and sports. (YEA! I guess it'd be a good position to effect change and make a difference) I heard from Dion (Pre-U Sem one) that they'd put you wherever they want, not based on your choice. She's doing a PhD in health sciences, but they thought of putting her in policy-making. Oh well.

OK back to point, I think the freedom of being able to choose one's job or career is a cornerstone to living your life to the fullest. Scholarships do make people serve bonds, yes, but glancing back at when that scholar signed that agreement, was he even sure that he wanted that as a career?

At this point in time, right after 'A's, truthfully, i speculate that almost 60 or 70% of the people miserably waiting for their results are still not really sure of what they'd want to pursue as a career. If this is so, what more sign a scholarship? It could very well be likened to serving as a highly-paid slave, if all that the scholar does is count down to the time his bond ends, when he'd be free to leave.

But then again, those who take up scholarships have scintillating A level result slips and that only makes up less than 10% of the cohort. Of which, there should be more students that know what they want yea.

After all, even if theyre not really certain of what may come in their years with the place they sign up the scholarship at, in time to come, impressionable minds may coalesce with loyalty, influence, and whatever attached feelings for the company/group, resulting in that brainiac dutifully committed to whatever company, yeaa.

Besides all the pride and ego that it may bestow, Uni certs only bring us our first job. After which, all that matter is the resume. And even more importantly, the personality, i guess.

Hmm, i know what i want. Yeap.

Like a flower, it roots from self-believe, stems up to self-confidence and blooms in passion.

We can't grow a sunflower in the tropics, or the bougain villea in the snow.

eNTJ?

2009-02-06T00:49:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody. I'm still alive.

but..

Haaha okay my blog's been dead.

Even though every personality test that I've ever done says i'm an extrovert, I have lotsa qualms about all those assumption-ridden tests. That particular ENTJ test even told me i'd be an executive. Yea rigght, my wishes. Hmmmm

But i guess i'm very much an introvert sometimes too.

Well you can see, my blog posts aren't much about my thoughts, but more about the more-interesting things that I do.

Matin told me, "You should post more on what you think, let the whole world know more about the mysterious eugene."

Hmmm oh well. Do I give people the impression that there' s so much more to me and you're not gonna know them? Hah ponder ponder............... crap, i think so. Must be some heart VS. head issue again.

Yea frankly i must say, sometimes (or many times, oops) i tend to keep thoughts to myself. Well, i think it's thanks to this silence in opinion that allows me to have neutrality and sanctity in perception, which is of course, a good thing. Keeping thoughts to myself doesn mean im not opinionated, but i'd rather hear yours than speak mine yea.

But then again, that's maybe why I can't argue extremely well in GP essays. HAHA

OK been to genting with Jack Chenyang Qian Jernan and Clarisse! Was quite okaay, but weather was extremely good. Nice and cool like Perth, but with more cigarette smoke and exhaust fumes errrgh.

We were super lucky in the trip. REALLY lucky. Post more about it soon (:

5.5 more weeks to enlistment. OH well, i must have no regrets and up till now, i haven't had any.

As Jason Mraz sings,

"Live high, live mighty, live righteously.

Take it easy, live high"

Enrichment

2009-01-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

Woke up to a perfect morning.

Whoosh 21st Jan, today's actually the first day of the year I've got some time to myself (well you can see the previous post was more than 2 weeks ago) and I must say 2009 started off really well yea.

ok yes today's 21st jan, wednesday, my blog's clock is screwed and i dont know how to change it.

Disclaimer:

The following is merely a recount of a relief-teaching stint and is no way meant to be derogatory, poignant or critical. Any unhappiness or displeasure caused is unintentional and is severely regretted for.

BACK TO SCHOOL.

Yes, how boring that could sound to any mediocre singaporean student, lugging schoolbags that weigh a ton, wearing zombie-expressions and worst of all, their motivation to go to school is to go home aft school ends. Hahaa

Eh but I was a student no more. There was no longer a need to don that same uniform day-in day-out, but instead wear comfortable work attire with shiny leather shoes.

It came to me.

I was no longer a face in the class, I was the one the class faces.

A 2-week stint to stand in for a teacher on maternity leave, culminated in one memorable experience that i'll not forget.

Hmmm it wasn't for the money, nor was it to kill-time, i really wanted the experience.

2 weeks wasn a long time, neither was it too short. Whatever it was, i knew within me, I was gonna do my best at this and see what I can get.

Took classes from Sec 1 to 4, seven and half classes. Hahaa that's like 200+ students and effectively, one in every 6 students had to know who Mr. Say was. o_O

*and in my greatest embarrassment, i didn recognise some pupils when they greeted me. ooops. haha. 2 weeks isn long enough ok, imagine having to rmb 200+ names*

Four Sec 2 Express classes, Half a Sec 3 Normal class, Two Sec 4 Normal class, One Sec 1 Normal Tech class.

Each class presented their own challenge and frankly it was all these challenges that really taught me new things.

And mind you, relief teaching isn like what is so commonly perceived, get into a class, give work, and just sit down and heck about the class. I had a real teaching load. Doing what a real teacher does.

Hmmm this is when the contract lasts for a few weeks or months yea. But for ad hoc relief teachers, that come on a day-by-day basis, the experience is like what is aforementioned. When it's like this, it becomes so much more meaningless...

Hmm i guess teaching in a secondary school isn like how teachers in JC conduct lessons yea, just enter the class and start on the tutorials right away, and maybe just chide some of those who don't do their work. Probably 90% content, 10% classroom management.

In secondary school, i guess it changes to a much larger extent! Maybe 65% content, 35% classroom management.

In JC, students are independent learners, and they'd (have to) appreciate what the teacher is going through. Those who don't care will just screw up and down they'd go. But in Sec Sch, try to put your hands off at any one moment and in a while, you'd realise, all your efforts to teach are gone to waste. Haaha (well at least in an average school like my sec sch)

12 years of education can't make me go wrong in one observation.

Sometimes, i just wished my teachers gave me more motivation, besides plainly rambling through all the content. Not to say that all of them weren inspirational enough, but i can safely say there wasn enough, i mean, take a good look at all teachers and you'd see why. This was especially so in JC, where the workload nary gave teachers sufficient energy left to inspire the students.

So, I was determined. 2 weeks wouldn have allowed me to teach much content, but if there was one thing i was gonna be able to change, that'd be their outlooks, perceptions and inspiration...

Planned the lessons, made notes and worksheets for them. I guess teaching wasn that difficult. Learnt long ago to classify, organise and present info in a way that could facilitate maximal understanding, and i guess this skill that i picked up while trying to study effectively helped me teach clearly now hmmm. Well of cos this comes after having to fully grasp the topics to be taught. They were all really simple stuff, like Sec 2E was diffusion and osmosis. Haha sure it is simple, but it's such a fundamental scientific concept that students must understand flawlessly.

OK so here came the challenging part, managing the class and whacking sense into the students.

Oh well, i dont know whether what i did actually helped cos there isn't really a yardstick to measure these things isn it.

What i'd say when,

>> i enter the class (on some occasions):

"Class, you can hear that my voice isn really good today, so if you dont want to miss out on any of the important things i'm gonna tell you today, keep quiet. If you miss anything, you don't learn, and ultimately, you wont master this topic well and you'd screw up ur exam. And of cos it's YOUR exam, not mine. SO you choose whether you wanna listen well alright?"

>> some clowns are making too much noise in a sec 2 class:

"Boys there, i'm giving you one warning, you better shut your mouths and face the front if not you won't like what's gonna happen"

2nd time,

"You again, this is your last warning"

3rd time

*just be prejudiced against those recurrent noise-makers and shoot em randomly*

they'd be feeling mistreated and unjustified and for one more time when they talk:

"Guys you know, i seriously have nothing against you, but i have a BLOODY PROBLEM with your IMMATURITY. How much longer do you want to live in such silly childishness, make noise and interrupt everyone?! Until you're sec 4?! For the rest of your life?!"

Hahha. Of cos they were angry with me at some point of time for shooting them but, aft saying this, they'd just have this overflowing conscience soaking them all over. And the rest of the lesson becomes more pleasurable to teach.

Some of them respond really well, like this guy who become so much more angelic for the subsequent lessons after i told em this.

Good signs were that those sec 2s still greet me with a smile. Coool.

For the sec 4s, theyre at this stage where theyre old enough to think and make choices for themselves. For the first lessons I mapped out this whole education route map that they could take. Being normal students, many would go to ITE and end up at work real soon. So i told them just how short are they away from making some of the most important choices in their life, which are those qn.s that stumble upon them when they start work. So they've gotta start thinking now. And whether they'd wanna regret after getting their N level results. Hmmf.

Oh yes yes, i also tried drilling into them how important it was to make full use of their youth to enrich themselves and not waste their life away with their PSPs, DOTA or lame-ass jokes. Well, having little confidence in their studies, many of them did listened up, but seemed like they were still hopeless and didn give a shit. Oh well.

Ok there were other experiences too.

Oh yea i sent out almost one-third of a Sec 2 class for not doing their homework. Forced them to sit on the ground. And of cos, they didn like it cos the school bottom was white. Hahaa

And for one of the 4N classes, i finished teaching things, they finished their work and they were playing PSP. i went up to them and said this, "Guys, first of all i am going to ask you to stop playing. 2ndly, i know you are not going to stop and i'm going to have to come back to stop you guys many times. So, do whatever you want, i have warned you, but if any teacher comes by and confiscates it, you face the consequence." And guess what, the principal walked by 15 minutes later, they got caught and PSPs confiscated. Hahaha

There were soooooooo many interesting experiences i wont be able to finish saying them here. Haaha.

2 weeks flew really fast. Some students even forgot that i was just a relief-teacher. Some of them didn want the teacher who was on maternity leave back. Some wished i stayed longer. And i just tell them "you think i want to teach you all? No one likes teaching noisy classes." hahaha. Well frankly, if i had the chance i dont mind continuing up till before NS.

Yea so that's pretty much the experience i had, a satisfying and enriching one.

Oh yes i was really fortunate to have met some super nice 'colleagues' too. Haha. Best of all was the guy who set beside me, Prathap.

He teaches bio too and helped me plan the lessons a little. But more importantly, he gave me lotsa insights to going to uni and stuff. Also mentioned about how my life in NDU was going to be, as he was in the navy back then. He said "you'll do the same things as commandoes but even more, but at the end of the day, be less recognised than them" Hmmm ok fine, i dont mind.

Prathap told me how much the uni campus will have an effect on your uni life. He was from NUS and told me that it's a place where you can't really feel for the place, everyone are just listless souls in this whole facility. He said that for e.g NUS and NTU students, even though they are able to study get results and all, many of em are just really childish and superficial, spending time clubbing, gossiping about the next hot chick/dude, or things like that. They don't really ask themselves what do they want to achieve and all.

Oh well, and he juxtaposed it to SIM. SIM's an open uni, working adults take their courses and all, but of course they admit JC, poly and other students too. He said the environment there is much more focused, much more conducive to study because everyone really wants to learn.

And also reminded me, that after all it isn the degree that's most important for your career, but how you fit your personality to a career. Hmmm, insightful, insightful.

AND he asked me to consider being a teacher cos i'd make a decent one. LOL riiiiight

My co-form teacher was the HOD of chinese. And it was the same HOD when i was still a student. Man, she really has quite some experience. Once she starts yakking, she can't stop. But her stories are really interesting tho (all in chinese). Took some pains for me to reply in proper chinese (which i think was still not grammatically correct). Hahhaa

But i must say she's a really good disciplinarian. Really good. Hmm, she rejected promotion to VP if not for her english. Mmm yeaa.

And HOD of science and my ex OC for NPCC, Mr Chan. Thanks for everything man. And no thanks for telling the sec 4s my blog address. Hahaha

Now, let me unveil, my *ahem* work space!

GOSH. Paper sticked all outside the cupboards. Stacks and stacks everywhere, files everywhere. Boxes of paper overflowing out from the table. Even look at beneath the table, boxes and files there! Woots. I got no leg room at all thank you. Only things that are mine is the pencil case, the file beneath it. and my water bottle. I put my worksheets on the table behind.

It's not economy class, it's like budget, or worst lol.

Chan told me that the table was even packed before the teacher left. Hahah now now now, interesting.

Alright so 2 weeks was over, i was supposed to be free. But on monday morning, my co-form teacher called me at 6.20am asking me to go down cos this teacher was on MC. Wooo. Ironed clothes and chionged down. Lucky school starts at 7.45am (yes, i'm not joking, are you jealous now. haha) Eh it's bad for the heart and soul you know, i was planning to blaze the roads and hit the hills, aka. run. Haha but there i was sitting infront of that table on a monday mrng, preparing for lessons for the day, which i had no initial plan at all.

Man that's why i was saying, it gets meaningless for ad hoc relief. You dont really get anywhere. Hmmm

And guess what, on tuesday morning, i was called again. This time at 6am. Hahaa, the same teacher i stood in for the whole 2 weeks, on a one-day MC again.

Today, i'm free and imma go paddle later :D Got some serious business with the juniors.

Who knows i might get the call tomorrow, or the day after? Hahaa

So that's very much the experience, hope this looong post didn bore you.

I've still yet to post on many things, gosh. Perth, New year gatherings, etc

in the meanwhile,

Hope everyone's doing fine (:

Happy CNY!

For You.

2009-01-04T04:43:00.000-08:00

One of those songs which could describe some feelings so perfectly, uhh, like now, yea.
Jason Mraz is really da bomb with so much metaphorical and philosophical undertones in his lyrics, not to forget the captivating rifts.

ahhh sweet.

Singapore Canoe Marathon 2009!

The first batch of medals for Team Alumni? Hmmm

Recover first. Bleah.

Pedagogue

2009-01-01T05:52:00.000-08:00

Teach.

There was once I was so pissed off with school back during secondary school days, I logged on to the MOE site to find out what the real aims of education were.

True enough, things were pretty screwed up back in school back then. But as fortunate as could be, I'm still glad that I had great teachers, though some really needed much more to convince me.

I must say that many teachers I've encountered in the past 18 years have really impacted me in great ways and I thank them more than ever. But still, why teach?

I read once somewhere, if you love to flaunt your knowledge, be a teacher. Haha, now that's interesting isn't it.

But i guess, after signing up at MOE, my reason wasn anything close to that. It wasn't to flaunt wit, nor was it for the money. Frankly, 50+ a day after deducting CPF isn't exactly a lot, there are much better paying part-time jobs out there.

"The aim of education is not of facts, but of values" - [Someone whose name i forgot]

Hmmm ok primarily, truth is, taking up this job is my way of returning to society. No matter how corny it sounds to you, or in what perspective you take this, i guess i'm doing this all in the name of helping to blossom young minds. Minds that bear great potential waiting to be unravelled. Minds that have yet to see and understand how things really are in the world out there. Minds that need more clue as to how they are really gonna build themselves up.

Adverts say, TEACH TO INSPIRE! Hahah right, I guess anyone who actually signs up could only quietly wish for this. Invest best effort first, talk about inspiring people later.

Truthfully speaking, even discussing with some of my teachers before, The education landscape in Singapore, is not as vibrant as it seems, when we talk about teaching.

Any plain joe or jane can easily sign up to be a teacher. Got a degree? BE A TEACHER! Simple as that. Teach some subject or two and get a pay. Go for programmes and courses, gain recognition, get promoted, get higher pay.

Mechanical, it may seem. But in order to groom the children of the anxious baby-boomer generation, i guess no other alternatives could have been better either.

As such, from what i see, at times, teaching could become an underrated job. Brilliant teachers, who are becoming rarer nowadays, make a difference in the lives of hundreds of students but are unsung heroes. However, they still find great joy and satisfaction in their scope of work.

Whereas, the plain joe or jane could just be merely reading from some powerpoint slides or the textbook, and is nevertheless, still known as a teacher...

Noble or not? I decide. Let's see what tomorrow brings. Hurhur.

New year countdown was pretty good (:

Here's a video from the hotel room in Pan Pacific!

Tsunami

2008-12-30T05:37:00.000-08:00

Gosh.

26th December 2004. The Indian Ocean Tsunami killed an unprecedented 220000 people and till this day, some are still homeless.

26th December 2008. A weird-ass Tsunami has striked my tummy and is still in its wake of destruction now.

Xmas was pretty coool until the pre-shocks started to rock my tummy. Felt pretty cold over the few days but BAM, on Xmas day I was down with a freakin fever at 38.5 but miraculously had no more fever the next morning. And then came the freakin tsunami in my tummy. Basket.

First time in loooooooong while that i'm down with some bloody sickness for close to a week. No idea what the heck this is but it's totally draining. Gastric flu? Stomach flu? Or even dengue? Feel pretty weak at times, can't train properly. It's that kinda of stomach-aches where defecating won't solve the problem. Tsunami. Aih. I didn even touch any weird foods, or even alcohol. Baah.

OH OH, just some updates from the real Tsunami. Singaporeans donated a sum total of S$57 million to victims of the catastrophe and many aid programmes have successfully sheltered the victims with new houses. But still many are homeless and living in the camps. Oh boy, one disaster could actually have so much repercussions in the following years. Tsunami warning systems are not exactly functional yet and hence, more spending on the relief fund was pledged to preventive measures rather than relief and response measures.

Mmmmm, reminds me of 4 years ago, on boxing day. Was really taken aback by the photos splashed over the headlines and the casualty count that increased by thousands everyday...

My heart still goes out to those who lost their loved ones .. aih

Oh yes and the following day, I started planning for the donation drive in sec sch. So of the the 57 million dollars, $3312.82 was actually from my donation drive. Haha

And back to my current Tsunami..

thanks to which, training was pretty sucky yea. Couldn push much at all. It became that i was pushing the sickness barriers, not the physical ones. Oh my oh my. Marathon's next Sunday. Whoosh.

____________________________________________________________________

Xmas Eve!:

Met Kengkiat, heeyeong, sly and zhua.

KK looks pretty fine when shaven yea, and he's got into the MOST HIONG COMPANY - COUGARS in his BMTC. Man, haha his NS stories from his first 2 weeks were pretty cool. I guess the funniest was his malay OC (Officer-In-Command) for the BMTC (Basic Military Training Centre)

This OC told them that when they go to the toilets, they should try to go in pairs, and quoted "do not do any funny businesses" in the toilet.

But, there were some people from China who couldn understand english. (Yea they come to sg to get PR)

So, the malay OC who could speak some chinese said:

"同志!!!同志!!!

去 ce4 suo3 不可以打飞机!

Hahahah

We watched "The Day the Earth stood still" then went to hang out in the Irish Pub till 2. Yea

Xmas Day!:

Dinner at my Uncle's place was pretty fine but I felt kinda bad showing up with a stoney face thanks to the fever. Ate, talked to my cousins, be merry, sang carols, exchanged gifts (:

My cousins, ranging from 12 to 33 years old, went out for a midnight movie but i was too feverish to watch the TV, let alone watch a movie. Anw they watched IP MAN, which i watched earlier on. Heh pretty funny show, nice moves, and the translator was quite funny. Haha

29th Dec: Canoe Gathering @ My place!

Gathering was pretty nice, I hope. Hahaa, spent the morning cooking freakin' chicken stew. OH i told the juniors, "While you all were pumping iron, i was chopping onion" Hahaa.

Met nelson and qianwen at clementi to shop for stuffs and back to my house.

Gosh, because there were last-minute add-ons i had to cook freakin' pasta again. 0_0

Cut cut cut chop chop chop the whole day.

People came and yea things looked fine. We played Cherades! Hahah super funny. And gift exchange too. Post up the pictures when i get it.

Tomorrow's the last day of 2008! My dad's birthday. And countdown. Faddy Waddy's having a countdown at a unit he booked at Pan Pac. Oh gosh that's so damn cool. We'd have a great view of the fireworks.

(Sorry to the canoe guys yea, maybe ill find you all aft everything ends.)

Class outing this Saturday!

Mmmm i've been wanting to post about teaching. My first day of work starts this Friday! HOW COOL. Hurhur.

Alright, till then,

Enjoy the last bits of 2008!

Last 8 of 2008

2008-12-23T01:59:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody. I'm still alive. Hurhur.

Just came back from a supeerrrrrrrrrr long day. My brain's only semi-working now. Hmm yea details below.

And, cool, the past week was more canoeing, catching up, reading and more.

Hmm, ok guess the discipline to canoe daily kinda paid off. Able to draft with coach easily now. Canoe marathon's in freakin 19 days.

Naysayers would probably go: "OH YOU NO LIFER", but hey, I decided this was all part of being extraordinary, unlike a severely bored person wasting life away on the computer or TV at home, or working aimlessly at work for the money.

And if you think extraordinary just meant being fit and spending hours under the sun, think deeper, or ask me (:

OH about work, i kinda settled the relief-teaching stuffs.

Be back at sec sch to teach Bio and Chem, got classes from secondary 2 to 4. Whoosh, looking forward to it,

XMAS is coming in 3 days

As each year passes, there's less and less things to buy. Dont need much things at all. Shopping isn't really meaningful anymore. It's gonna be 2 years in NS anw. Heh was talking to ceyong saying, at 18 years old, we're kinda too old for the teenage stuff, and also too young for the adult stuff.

Gifts for people would never fall out though. Can't possibly visit someone or someplace empty-handed isn it. Gifts are genuinely from the heart (: [from me, at least]

OH 2 people's birthdays are coming soon, 26th and 30th december. uh oh

OH yes, and my dad's birthday gift too, he's a 31st December baby btw. Haha.

$_$

Mmmmm hmmm. They say, "Treat yourself with your head, treat others with your heart."

Towards a particular someone, guess I've been having a Heart and Head conflict,

My different purposes, my different intentions, my different faces and my awkward image. Bleah.

(And because this blog is like that, i wont express this in any other way.

You see, this is in itself part of the heart and head conflict, the heart wants to say something but the head makes it so weird. Completely wth.)

_____________________________________________________________

WHACK.

Monday:

OK, i never knew i was even gonna do this but now it seems pretty cool. Swam and run in the morning, almost a biathlon distance. Cooked pasta for lunch, which I eventually brought to the chalet (like mentioned above, cant go anywhr empty handed =x). Went to sec sch for relief teaching stuffs. And to J1's chalet for night cycling! (Thank you J1s for having us at the chalet :D )

Tuesday:

An hour's of sleep, breakfast, and off to bedok for paddling with coach.

Like a diver-style hell week thing, with tons of fun though (:

NIGHT CYCLING!

Really fun to cycle in such a LARGE group! 14 bicycles -> 13 B1s and 1 B2 (b1 - single; b2-double). Hahah we were practically jamming up every traffic junction when we crossed roads.

Renting the bikes were quite a hassle and thanks Aaron and hilary for helping with the booking and stuff. Appreciate it much man.

The Route:

50km on Mountain bikes. Man, very respectable for those who don't really cycle.

Some of em thought of making a finisher shirt?! NAH. Nothing was really intended in the first place wasn it. Hahah

The route was just impromptu-ed along the whole way by Daryl and I anyway, oh and of cos my trusty phone maps. Thanks to us, most people's butts and thighs are somehow strained now. Ooops. Haha. We had a great time anw didn we (:

START!:

The Chalet - Costa Sands Pasir Ris.

{The block of houses which are surrounding a pool)

Right out from the chalet, on the Phosphorus Cyanide. PCN, i mean, park connector.

(Ceyong's Joke). Hurhur

A little clip of everyone (:

All the way down to...

Tampines MRT! Ok you can see we turned in here to go the Cheers at the MRT station to get drinks.

Further down the MRT track, reached the Holy Trinity church, right turn and all the way down to...

Bedok Reservoir! We went to Jernan's house area. Tried calling her to come down but guess she was asleep alrd. So, we went on to....

To our shed! It was too dark and hence, we took a pic at the toilet, haha:

Johnny's arm looks... eee.

FAST-FORWARD. OK so from here we took the PCN that brings us to ECP:

Passing by Kembangan MRT. Oh yes the PCN route actually cuts into the pavement for MRT commuters. Weird. Hilary's bike started to get cranky, screwed up chain, but lucky it could be fixed.

All the way down Jalan Eunos, cross the underpass and here we are at East Coast Macs. Stomachs started to growl a little. Aaron wanted stuff like hokkien mee. Haha. This security guard told us that the Bedok Jetty Food Centre will actually be open till late, and when we went there...

IT WAS FREAKIN CLOSED. GOSH. And we lost Daryl here. He 'dissappeared' into the food centre. And found him waiting outside the toilet later cos he thought the B2, which louis and gideon was on, sped up ahead of him.

Occasionally, the B2 partners were switched. Here, Lohboon went on a single while Gideon helped qianwen out by taking the double tgt. Much less taxing on the legs. After which, we went back to Macs area again.. yawn.

There was 7 eleven here.

Bought some food and drinks and hung around the kid's rides area when there was actually proper seats for us. Maybe cos it was the brightest area. Jack switched off the electrical supply to some of the kid's rides and those "put-in-1-dollar-to-use-a-pincer-to-try-to-get-a-cute-toy-but-get-conned" machines, cos they were making hell a lot of noise. Hahaa.

Daryl fell when he was dismounting his bike, tripped on the pedal and went over.

And someone's bicycle wheel hit Biao's toe and he shouted damn freaking loud that we thought it was his knee or something again. Haha scary shit, crazy biao.

Qianwen and Nelson were all half-dead and want to take a cab back to the chalet alrd. Haha. We were only halfway through. Oops. Hahaha

B2 was now ceyong and qianwen.

After about a 20 minutes of break. And back on track again, towards Changi. As you can see, we travelled the same route 3 freakin times =x

OK, right here, ceyong let gideon get back on the B2 and suddenly Ceyong dissappeared. Literally. Turned back to find him only to know that his whole right leg cramped up. Man, kinda bad. So we had to go slow for a while. He was trying to use more body to cycle, and resulted in his head shaking on every step of the pedal, just like how he paddles. Hahahaa, funny as hell.

Everyone was waiting up ahead at this bridge for the rest to catch up. This is just pass the Sailing and Windsurfing club. Leon and Johnny were gassing out too.

Passed by the National Service Resort Country Club. And through the horrible MOE campsite. Leon's leg was bust here. Says it was damn sore. Just this moment, someone made the Jing-Ma-Jiang tune, only to realise his soreness was not a joke. Haha.

And on the B2 leon went with Ceyong.

From the pic you can see we're heading up Changi Coast Road, which is the road that surrounds the airport. Freaking long road with a dark path. It's the route for the Team Category in Adidas Sundown Marathon anw. Aaron lost control a little I almost slammed into him. Damaged the brakes of his bike. Lucky Jack our repairmen knew how to fix it. heh

Turned into Changi Beach Park. The most retarded park ever without any lights. Complete pitch dark. Just lasted for awhile only tho.

This is the SAF Ferry Terminal! Where most of us are gonna have to go to. Brings em to Tekong for BMT. OH Jonny is already done and over with it. Heh.

Further up to the end of the park...

We are at Water Venture Changi. Where all the 1-star course takes place. Hur

CHANGI VILLAGE! Finally. But the food stalls were close. It was about 5am already anw. Luckily there was a 24-hour coffee shop there. Had drinks and pau.

AND GUESS WHAT? A pair of transvestites actually confronted Nelson cos he was the most approachable, pushing his bike while we were all cycling. He immediately called Johnny damn loudly. And for some reason, Johnny suddenly had a godlike burst of energy and cycled away super fast, with this hilariously flabbergasted expression. Hahahha

They had very manly voice. Heh

Down Loyang avenue all the way and back to downtown east (:

Slept an hour. Breakfast, then left the place.

Bike shop only opened at 10am!

Freakin wasted 1.5 hours waiting for it to open while the rest already checked out and left for

home.

Was supposed to be down at Bedok at 930 to row with coach. LATE.

But luckily he was just getting ready to paddle when i reached at 11 odd.

Dunno how and why, he knew that we went night cycling the night before and actually didn mind joining us but had a meeting so he cldn come. Rowed about 16,17km.

What a day. Whooosh.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Local sightseeing!

2008-12-12T07:14:00.001-08:00

Thursday:

Just came back from perth yesterday and went out for dinner right after unloading the luggage. Perth was great, will blog about it soon (:

Canoeing dinner and Pre U Sem dinner clashed, so i went for Pre U Sem one instead. Hmmm

Saw SG14 again, all the nice people, and damn they are flying-high. Dion's actually got a PSC scholarship for a PhD in health sciences and what's more, there's only 2 PSC awardees for poly students, she's one of em. Imba. 0_0

Everyone's doing pretty fine, and they're betting whether i'd utter vulgarities after entering NS. Haha interesting.

_______________________________________________________________

Friday:

Cycling Expedition!

Pic shows a rough area of the route cycled. Whopping 90km.

1) Upp Bt Timah ---> West Coast Park

Cycled from home, met mat at pine grove, went on to West Coast park. Shengkai was there having a little picnic with louiza. hurhur how sweet.

2) West Coast park ---> Seah Im Market

Ok Seah Im Market's actually the hawker centre at Harbourfront bus terminal, just that no one knows it's called Seah Im. Had fruits there. But since we're around the area, we decided to go to HortPark

3) To HortPark, Mount Faber then back to Harbourfront

Crap. Wanted to go to HortPark but apparently we were too amazed by the bridge and walked on it, ended up in Mount Faber.

Really beautiful bridges at HortPark. Back to Harbourfront

4) Harbourfront to Sentosa Cove!

Sentosa cove is b-e-a-utiful! But of course you only get to stay there if you're multi-millionaire.

Got to go in cos Matin's dad actually designs one of the Condos there. Sweet.

The community club has like yachts and jet skis and all. That club's called One^o 15

Shelves of Jet skis and boats parked along side. 0_0

Houses are zen-like, HUGE, mostly angmoh-owned and very beautiful

And there are houses on islands within the place itself, like this:

Oh gosh. Imagine being able to take out your K1 from your own shed anytime you want and paddling it without any winds or choppy water. Woooo

5) Sentosa cove ---> Siloso, Palawan, Tanjong beaches

Nothing special at these beaches. Siloso just closed for ZoukOut tomorrow though.

Palawan Beach. Had to take a photo cos it'd look so out-of-place. HAHA

6) Sentosa ---> Seah Im

Lunch

7) Harbourfront ---> Singapore Flyer

Ok we wanted to go esplanade park but missed it anw, Then went up further to the flyer area to see if the car exhibition was still on and obviously it isn't anymore. Haha (last saw it on Sunday during the marathon)

Ahh there it is. Hmm memorable place. The last 2km+ of the marathon where ankles and knees were really whacked. Heh, and just on the left side is Marina Reservoir actually, where Canoe Marathon was and will be held. (Crap, it's in like 3 weeks and i've not trained yet)

FYI, this stretch of road was actually made for the F1 race. So in a way, we were running and cycling on the best tar road in Singapore. There were some lane marks left behind too, coolness.

8) Singapore flyer ---> Marina Barrage

Took some navigation to get there. Quite far in and not convenient for commuters to go to unless by car. But the ride in was absolutely worth it cos Marina Barrage is exhiiiiiiilarating!

Let the pictures speak for themselves.

When you just first enter. This building's the visitor centre. Nice architecture. Has similar themes to esplanade and all. A very singaporean kind of design. Heh

And on the barrage! See those little viewing points on this barrage, I tell you they are magnificent cos you'd get a beautiful skyline of the whole city, and moreover you can use the bench made of marble for a little picnic table (:

This is the skyline (: (it was super cloudy and going to rain)

In the visitor's centre, you can go up to the rooftop to to the Green Roof. There's this slope up to the roof. Reminds me of the one at NTU, just that his one has field grass unlike the carpet grass hill at NTU.

On the way up the slope. The visitor centre or rather the Pump House.

When you reach the top! Wooh. That's called the Green Roof. Pretty great place to fly a kite or just chill out, picnic.

A fountain when you look down.

Further up, a solar park, the biggest one in singapore, though it looked really small, with not many panels. Btw, each solar panel has only one wire to connect it to a generator. Nice.

Solar panels

Had to put the phone on the dustbin to take this, could have got the skyline in the backdrop.

Oh, all the photos were taken with my trusty phone. The pics posted have been resized tho. My phone's maps helped with navigation too. Pretty great.

3 more weeks to the end of the year, hmmmmm. Anything that still needs to be accomplished?

Ponder, ponder..

Post on Perth coming soon!

42.195 (:

2008-12-07T01:54:00.000-08:00

Full Marathon, 42.195km:

5 hours 23 minutes.

Sweet.

Must say i'm pretty lucky for a first timer. Must really thank JACK for his great pacing and also his accompanion. Imba Jack, he only trained ONCE, for 15km and he ran like the wind.

Whoosh it was really a wonderful run, very upbeat and enjoyable. I'm sure i'll be back next year but with more training prior to it. HAHA. Knees and ankles are a total whack now and i'm wondering how i'm going to survive walking around in Perth. Hmmm

OK so the great race started at Esplanade. Bloody heck it was messy. Had to walk like 3 or 4km in from where mom dropped me off. And it was damn confusing where to go to deposit bags and not. Jack waited for me cos i had his tag. Quick warm-up and Jack needed the toilet but the queue was longer than hello kitty queues, so he skipped it and we went on

Started 15 minutes late woohoo.

The race plan was 15k run, 5k walk, 15k run, 5k walk, 2k max out. But on the 2nd set of 15km, totally whacked out. Our joints couldn't take it. So in the end it was: 15k run, 5k walk, 12k run, 4k walk, 6k run.

Ran ran ran, at the start, we saw the Women's Everest Team running with a small backpack. And also this women who was dragging 2 tyres behind her. She had a backpack and was using climbing sticks. Impressive, impressive.

Ran ran ran, stopped at the toilets. Jack picked up a pair of sunglasses here. HAHA basket. So much for running the race free already. (Running for my brother)

Jack: "When i come out of the toilet, if no one takes it yet, it's mine"

*Finishes his business*

Eugene: *Says loudly* "Cmon cmon, take your things let's go"

Haha, how innocent.

OH and before that, we saw the super natl team girl from RJ Canoeing, the girl with 12 pull ups.

Ran ran ran, and saw our group of girls. Qianwen, Weeling, Clarisse, Jernan and HUIQIN. Hmm they were doing pretty well. Please fast forward to the end of the race if you only wanna know about hq's story. Hurhur...

Ran ran ran, saw 2 ACJC canoeing, some C rower guy and another one.

Ran ran ran, saw Risheng and we slapped him damn hard on the back. Haha

Less than 1km from which, we lost him in the pack. But he caught up at the toilet again. at 18km mark. Never seen him for the rest of the race again. His race plan was 5k run, 1k walk, 5k run, 1k walk, all the way. Man, this race plan's kinda difficult, cos in any case, for noobs, it's best to stop less to walk. Takes a lot to start running again. Heart beat and joints will feel weird.

Ran ran ran, saw Melvin Sim Hong Yi at the 15km mark, oh dearest brother from the NP days, the one who only got a muscle tear upon getting hit by a taxi and flying four lanes across Sims avenue. God-like. Oh, and he's PJ Canoeing's Vice-captain too.

Melvin's on the right. And pls ignore Matin's face. HAHA

Ran ran ran, we saw this man who was running blindfolded, he was tied to his girlfriend and they were running tgt. Wow, respect man.

Ran ran ran, at east coast park, we overtook this old man who was running bare-foot the whole way! OH my goodness. Impressive.

Ran ran ran, at 20km, before the start of our 2nd 15k run:

Eugene: "Jack ah, the real thing's just about to begin man, the 2nd half determines everything"

Jack: "Yea the real pain sets in"

At 20+km to 30+km, the pain sure came in, at this moment, we really learnt how to appreciate DEEP HEAT RUB. Really helps a lot a lot. Can't find any use for it in canoeing tho.

Ran ran ran, 23km. GU POWER GEL STATION! Haha ok so we gladly ran past and grabbed the gel. But suddenly, Jack had 5 gels in his hand. ZOMG. Hero. Hahah, from then on, we shared a packet of gel every 3km. Hmm must be the reason why i can't sleep now, super caffeinated body.

GU power gel's actually not bad. But it's a definite must to drink it with water. It's much thicker than Power Gel. And the chocolate flavour really tastes like choc fudge, unlike power gel's choc flavour, taste like gooey crap.

Ran ran ran, saw more canoeing people. SRJC, Meridian, Hwachong. And this NJ Alumni girl just burnt us like free. Hurhur

Ran ran ran, at 30+, there was a deep heat station and we went "YAY" damn loud. The person kinda gave us a weird look.

Eugene: "Jialat. This strain is going to be massive. You know what, the race doesn end when we cross the finish line, it only ends when our muscle and joints completely heal"

Jack: "Haha yea man"

Ran ran ran, at 33km, there was a COOL ZONE, where they spray cold mist as you walk past. Completely useless.

OH along the way, there was lotsa RUNSPIRATORS too. Particularly, one angmoh man holding a bell. He was really great man, kept shouting everyone on.

First he appeared at the east coast wakeboarding area, ringing his ice-cream man bell and shouting every one on. At that moment i told Jack, "Haha this angmoh, i bet when the sun comes out he'll take out his beer and celebrate"

Second-time on the return route at east coast. This was damn funny. He was shouting at everyone "THIS IS A NO-WALKING ZONE, YOU RUN!" Hahah. (fyi, many people were walking along the whole way, just that more people walked as we reached the end point)

Then he appeared again at the Singapore Flyer area.

The last 4km was the most gruelling 4km ever. Freaking painful on the joints.

AND THE LAST 200m.

We had our last burst. Shouted Jack's motto damn loudly "SA CANOE AI ZAI!"

Haha this group of guys replied "Kao Bei la"

But who gives a shit about them we burnt them like crazy.

And crossing the finishing line was exhilarating man. Great feeling. 5h23mins.

Eugene: "I'm not gonna run till next year. We've done enough for these 2 years."

Jack: "OF COURSE MAN, more than enough"

Heh, next year, we'll strive for a sub-5 hour timing. Interesstingg

Interesting part!:

OK so we collected our medals and finisher tee. And guess what? WE SAW HUIQIN. Holy cow. She said she came in like 5h20mins. EARLIER THAN US?!

And she said all the other canoeing girls came back already.

OH CMON, don't shit me. I didn believe it. She said the other canoeing girls were back, to kinda borrow my trust for them, i'm sure, i'm sure.

So after limping to the baggage area to get my phone and call the rest of the canoeing girls, i got thorugh clarisse and they were still at 35km. HAHA nice one la huiqin.

She claims she ran with her NJ canoeing friend. Man, she didn look as tired as we were. God-like. Not in running i mean, but in fabricating. Oops.

Hey but she got her finisher tee and the medal. Aih, no glory at all, depressing.

In all her stunning integrity, she must have took a quick turn somewhere without ppl noticing. AND BASKET SHE WAS WEARING THE SAJC CANOEING SINGLET. DISGRACE! Grrr.

Oh well, the ChampionChip will do justice, i hope. Her cert will not indicate completion. And hopefully they ask her to return her shirt and medal (which i dont think they will cos it's administrative-wise, it's troublesome, and she paid for it anw)

K, so that's very much most of the experience. Very interesting.

Leaving for perth later, gotta be at airport in 3 hours+. Hmm, i wonder how my legs will survive. Spamming glucosamine cream and icing it now.

Happy holidays!

Self-consciousness

2008-12-04T03:28:00.000-08:00

Slipped on a singlet and the tights, with 2 notes, ez-link card, house keys in the pocket.

Off i went, ~~blazing the roads~~ burning my knees.

My first 21km in view of Stan Chart this Sunday. Knees are feeling weird now.

Humans weren't made to fly. They RUN

Hmmm, been thinking more lately. More introspection as the year ends, as JC ends, as formal education ends, as self-education begins, as more time is granted, as more autonomy is granted... (never-exhausts, you define it)

PROM was on monday. Well truth be told, the organisation wasn't good at all. 31st SC... Oh well. Pardon my standards, but i must say things werent done pretty well. Guess i'm just a little more sensitive to these organisational stuff. Sorry if you're a councillor reading this, it's just my critique. Mr Chua, i know you'll share my sentiments. Haha.

Hmm but lucky glitzy Fullerton hotel made things slightly better.

Besides the bad organisation, i must say JC prom is so damn different from secondary school prom. Hmmm I hope grad nights in uni aren't like this too.

Prom = graduation night. Shouldn everyone be exchanging farewells and wishes, having fun with each other, relishing in moments together in school? Sadly, It seemed to me more like most people were more concerned with their looks, glamour and whatever superficial image, rather than the real meaning of graduation night - the interaction and the feelings.

Some friends and acquaintances you know could just shy away, not even say Hi. While it's not easy to examine the psyche behind that, i guess it's just this self-imposed barrier thanks to narcissistic priorities of looking fabulous and all that focus on personal image, when it was supposed to be a happy interactive occasion. Where did all the heart go?

Mmmm organisation: Ok things were done, lucky draw, prom queen/king, performances, watever. But then again where did all the heart go? Seemed to me like the SC was just doing things for the sake of doing it, without giving a sore bit of regard to the essence of each activity. There was no sense of exclusiveness in the way things were done. Everything could have just been organised in the school hall, it wouldn' be that different alright. Haha.

Lucky i had a table with lotsa fun-loving people. Haha

Pics:

Fine fine, with heels on, everyone towers over me. And this perpetually red face of mine makes me look a like a drunkard. Kumar thinks i'm drunk over pepsi. Nice one man. Haha

Class (:

Some GP class people (:

Jonny and clar! (Man, hilary syndrome)

Clarisse!

Soph!

Eric!

Jeannie. Hah yea, the only full body shot.

OH MY. Look whose the DJ. Haha

Nice lights

Hmm?

Didn go for post-prom, was smwhr else at clarke quay. Hmmm, heard it was a little havoc though.

Marathon in 3 days.

Perth in 4 days.

Prom

2008-12-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

Wait and See

2008-11-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher

-Socrates

HAHA. As much as this quote is ridden with lots of meaning, my first reaction was "Is he joking?!".

Haha hmmm, actually it kinda imply of men's needs isn it. Appreciation of life perhaps? Self-actualisation needs- one need for another.

But superficially, in modern context, it seems like becoming a philosopher was to explain for the predicament of having a 'bad' wife, hurhur.

It's DECEMBER! Oh boy, time passes freakin fast. Feeling kinda reluctant to look back at every nook and cranny of the past 2 years in JC to feel and emote about it. Let me savour in this nothingness for the moment.

Nothingness:

PROM is actually in 4 hours time and i'm not a least bit excited, i dont know why. Guess it'd be great to have just one last goodbye to some friends and acquaintances huh.

TEMPORAL APATHY - just heck care about somethings and worry less about issues around .

LACK OF GOALS - needless to say.

Stan chart marathon's this Sunday and i've not trained enough at all. Die.

In the meanwhile, i just wanna paddle more and pedal more.

My 30-50 km/h Getaway

SCM 2008. Nowhere as fit now.

PS. Happy Birthday matin!

Redefine

2008-11-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

Bidded people online goodnight and washed up, only having to come back to blog before going to bed. I'd spend the same time rolling over the mattress thinking of these anw.

Day in day out, less than 10 hours at home.

Such is my life after As.

Hah wow in retrospect, i didn really saw this coming at all. Frankly, i wasn really looking forward to post-As, it isn freedom, it's another phase of life

Surely studying could get boring, but taking a look around, i guess im lucky not to be suffering from bouts of boredom huh. Still passing times with great meaning.

Well, from how i've spent the holidays lately, i realised that if i were to look back at this period in the future, it isn't gonna be that fantastic after all.

BUT despite the clutter, guess i've still got no qualms about what i'm doing.

Canoeing-wise, i guess my job's only done after seeing off this batch of juniors. It's too selfish to learn everything and let it all dissolve isn it? After all, no one builds things up only to see them coming down. The only way is up!

Heck my mantra of the 3 P's: priority, purpose, practise.

It's time to kick back, seek some solace, contemplate, and rethink about directions.

Live it up or let it pass.

Mercy

2008-11-28T05:17:00.000-08:00

Oh. My. Gosh.

The world's pretty screwed up now. One day we have chaos in Thailand sprawling over the headlines, the next day we have bombs in Mumbai.

One section today mentioned protests in Chiangmai and in that very moment my heart kinda skipped a beat. THE OCIP TEAM IS STILL IN CHIANGMAI!

Their in the hands of Mr Liang and i think Ms Tabitha Liu? OH MAN. I pretty much hope they could get things in order.

Those parents must be worried to the core. Hmmm, dont know how but i think i should try calling in to help.

We'll keep them in blessings and prayers.

Hmmmf.

Just a while ago, I kinda thought that sometimes, whatever happens in the news or whatever happens elsewhere in the world doesn really matter as much as those things or people right around me.

While it may be pretty true to some extent, i guess the above made me realise that today sometimes we're just too interconnected to be nonchalant.

Hope all turns well...

Welcome (:

2008-11-27T18:45:00.000-08:00

Finally, I've decided to go public!

Promise i won't post listlessly here yea, guess i just wanna share some thoughts sometimes.

First post coming soon (:

Till then, Happy holidays.

hello

2008-11-27T02:23:00.001-08:00

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